rambling about being worried and a bit scared
I think if you have too much time to think it is really dangerous. The more you analyse things, the less they make sense. And the more confused you get. And in my case, the more worried I get. So I'm starting the course in September (eek, next month!) and I am incredibly scared. Ok, so I've taught classes by myself before (albeit not to the brats in this country) and generally the kids respected me and I think I know that I can teach well. But why am I so scared? I should be excited that I have new challenges... I think it's the fact that everything will change, all at once. New home, new(ish) city, new friends (I hope). New life. Maybe new direction? But I don't want everything to change. Because there are many things and people in my life that I like right now (and obviously things that I don't like - my laziness). I have to find the energy to start again. (I don't like change!! Well, little changes are quite nice.) But I don't want things to stay the same either... I should be thinking more positively. I hope others have confidence in me because I'm not so sure that I do right now... (Sorry this is kind of a weird entry.)
posted by jennywren | 8:11 PM
5 Comments:
Jens I have confidence in you! I know you'll do very well. Besides, you're going to start the training in Sept, not start teaching yet... Plus, the new(ish) city is not too far away from here!!
On second thought, I do start to feel scared too because you won't be sitting in that office any more. I will have no one to wave at on my way to the library!!! Oh...
You should be thinking more positively. It's clear that you're going to be fine on your course, you know how to teach, and after living in japan (where perhaps very little was familiar) I think you'll easily cope with Sheffield! You're going to be in just the same boat as everyone else on your course, only you'll have had more experience.
It is always a bit strange and scary when everything that you are used to is about to change. It is fast beginning to dawn on me that in less than two months time my life as a university student is going to be over and I have to do a real job, very scary!
You should remember that you had the confidence to travel to the other side of the world, where they don't speak the same language as you, and teach such a wide range of kids English. This time you are in the same country, where most of the time people speak English (well I believe people in Sheffield try to), and it will be to a more specific age group. You can do it. Surely anything is better than all those e-mails you get in your current job.
Your friends will always be here for you. :)
Thanks for the nice comments guys:) I feel better(ish). You're going to have to put up with more of this though in the months ahead...
PS. Andy, yes, I can totally understand how you feel. I think we've all been there (and some of us are still there...) Things will work out though, they usually do.
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